Put Your Pride Aside
Where I work, it is my job to help connect families with resources and be their advocate. Honestly, I get to be the hero a lot. I have even called myself a fixer in flats. Recently, I have been trying to figure out why I seem to have a problem with accepting help for myself. Could it be that I think something about people who need help and I don’t want to be one? Is it that I was raised to be a strong woman who can take care of herself? Someone I trust pointed out to me that I am willing to be on everyone's team but I don't want anyone on my team which may mean that I have a problem with pride. Pride? How is it pride? At first I didn’t understand but I discovered that pride may show up in different forms. A couple of ways that I identified with was people pleasing and prayerlessness.
People pleasing is something that I did not believe to be an issue of pride. I thought that it was a result of being raised to be a good girl or somehow serving others. What I now understand is that it is wanting approval. That definition doesn’t seem like a big leap but I don’t ever recall wanting or needing the approval of others. That's because I called it meeting expectations and wanting to do a good job. Then one day as clear as can be, I heard God say to me, “if you are such a people pleaser why don’t you want to please me?” You could have bought me for a penny. The only approval I will ever need wasn’t my priority! Prayerlessness, on the other hand, I was able to grasp a little easier. It is the idea that I can handle whatever is happening and I don’t need to bother God.
I hadn’t even realized that I had an issue with pride until last year and learning more about how it shows up for me has been a big eye opener. Because part of my job is to help people I see now that I was taking the credit for what God was using me to do and completing through me. When I took the time to really think about how Jesus had every right to take credit, because He is God, but He gave it to the Father, it truly humbled me. Realizing that when you are operating in your spiritual gift you can easily believe that it is you.
My study took me to Philippians 2:5-7 which says,, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bond-servant, and coming in the likeness of men.” How then do I have the nerve to think that I can take credit for anything? He came to help me with everything and I have to get rid of all of the hindrances. I must put my pride aside and see myself as a vessel for the Holy Spirit to flow through.
All knowing and ever present Father, thank you. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit that flows through me. Help me to move out of the way so that I can continue to be used by you, giving you all the honor and glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
